a-rich (tracyrichards) wrote,

Difficult day

Starting of course with having to put salmon pie down this morning. I kind of felt this day was coming for some time. Certainly all of this last week and despite the fact that there is some relief to get over this exhaustion I still feel the guilt, the remorse and feel I owe it to him and his memory to do nothing but sulk. Doing fun things is disrespectful to him when I should be honoring him through mourning. Well, I need to get on a Pet Grief site to honor him.
At the same time I knew how ravaged his body was and it was too far gone. I think, like Joe said, he appreciated your efforts to try to save him. I mean, like you said, your efforts for him were very selfless and pushed yourself into exhaustion. It is weird to feel this relief right now. I think you need to engage in some self care to care for thse around you, like your cats ad do things to stimulate your mind and stop feeling guilty about that- and pray.
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